I mentioned in my last post that 4 of my children have ADHD.  I also have 4 children that suffer from RAD.  Reactive Attachemt Disorder.  Yes, it deserves a sentence all to itself.  RAD is usually caused by not getting enough nurturing from another human being in the early stages of life.  RAD effects mostly orphans and can show signs early on.  The longer a child goes wothout nurturing the more severe the disorder can be.  My 4 children have varying degrees of RAD from the milder form to a severe form.  Can they be completely healed?  Probably not.  2 of my children are on the milder side and are both boys.  Neither one likes to be hugged and definitely not kissed.  It makes them very uncomfortable and they will pull away if you even get to close. 

I'm going to tell you about my kids one at a time so you can begin to see what a "momma's life" is like with 10 kids, more than half with special needs. 

Of course it would be easier to go in chronological order but I think I should go with whatever child is currently on my mind so I can capture them with more emotion and conscience.  So I will start with Mathew.  Mathew came to live with us at the age of 3 yrs and 2 months.  He was a foster child and 4 siblings.  3 of those siblings came with him while the bio mom was able to keep the 5th one an infant.

Mathew had been in foster care most of his life.  He was moved around in the system and had been in 4 foster homes by the time he arrived.  He had been labled as Autistic, Broad Spectrum and possibly more and Failure to Thrive.  So not only had this baby not been nurtured by his birth mother but not any of his foster mother's either.  Sad indeed.  Mathew weighed only 24 lbs, was not able to walk, talk and of course not potty trained.  But what was the most difficult thing about him was his  refusal to eat.  It is almost as though the child wanted to die. He had mentally give up living by the age of 3. Mathew also had another problem, anger.  Not the outwardly kind no his anger was buried way deep inside and came out in unusual ways.  Ways that even suprised me a season foster parent.

 He had mastered control of his bowels and not in a good way.  He would hold his bowels until you would have him do something he really didn't like.  One of those things was to go outside.  I think he most likely never went out unless in a car somewhere.  To put him in the yard to play or watch others play would cause his to let go of his bowels and I don't mean a normal amount.  This kid could poop litterally a bucket full!!  Our pediatrician didn't believe one tiny kid could hold that much, until she saw.  So that is when his ped decided to clean him out somthat there was nothing left to control.  Needless to say that is not one of my shining moments as a parent.  We were literally up to our elbows in poooooooo!!  We did enema after enema because even laxatives didn't get him to release control.  Amazing I know. 

The other thing was his food.  Remember I said he refused to eat.  He would have died if we hadn't made him eat and I mean made him.  He was basically anorexic at 3.  We would have to force his mouth open just to get a small bite of soft food, like yogurt or jello and he would gag and spit it out.  It took weeks of doing this before he would quick spitting it out.  He then went into the holding pattern we called it.  When we learned it didn't matter what type of food we fed him he would still gag and spit it out we went to a more solid good like baked potatoes, peas, corn and so on.  Still easy to eat foods.  Well he held them in his mouth.  For days. Sometimes one day before finally spitting it out and sometimes 4 days before spitting it out.  No joking.  He would still drink even with a mouth full of food.  Infact the only reason he survived was because he drank protein/calcium/vitamin drinks. It took nearly 6  months to get him to start eating and swallowing food. A year before he was eating almost normally and about that same time he had mastered walking and was nearly potty trained.  He was still way behind in his verbal skills and pronunciations but was making progress.

Now lets fast forward to today.  Mathew is soon to be 10 years old.  Mathew is not Austistic!!! YAY! However he has a low range IQ and is in both main streamed and special ed classes.  He not only walks but runs like the wind!! He rides a bike, plays ball, eats normal,  is on target with his math but really struggles to read and understand concepts.  Thoughts still get jumbled in his head and has difficulty saying the right word for what he means.  He may want to tell you something about a rug but he will say things like, "You know the cloth thing you put on the floor." He is easily embarrased when he can't say want he wants or when it comes out wrong and will have a flash of anger out of frustration. He is still emotionally immature and is quick to anger when things don't go his way.    BUT  he tries so hard to make he proud of him which I am.  While he may not be able to show me his feelings through touch (because he has RAD) he shows me through his actions. 

My son has who was this frail, lifeless human being has grown into a beautiful little boy.  His smile is winning and his eyes melt yyour heart.  I do not know what his future holds but he is so much better off then he was the day he arrived and so am I. 
   

Where to begin...hmmm...How about it is 10:00pm and all but one are sound asleep.  My 10 yr. old is fighting it something fierce and is full of excuses.  What it really boils down to is I forgot to remind her to take off her "patch" that she wears to help control her ADHD.  Luckily she is homeschooled and can sleep in tomorrow. 

Out of my 10 children 4 have ADHD and several of them have a long line of intials attached to both their physical and mental health statuts.  Most people know what the ADHD abbreviation means but for those who might not (yes, some people have the good luck of being able to live in a glass bubble), Attention Deficit Hyperativity Disorder.  What does it mean??  Mostly that someone can not stay focused even for a minute on anything, not even if it is something they love.

 Now what most people do not know is there are varying depths of this disorder.  One of mine is relatively mild with the attention part aspect, is impulsive and has trouble controlling her outburst. Another is strictly attention and impulsivity but very little hyperactivity.  Another is a "wall bouncer" and yes I mean that literally!  That child never sleeps, is impulsive, has NO focus ability, is on hyper alert status 27/7, known to hit others just because and yes it wll wear you down! And my last child with ADHD is more of the "normal" type.  Struggles to focus and tends to be fidgity, easily agitated.

Sometimes I think if the public school system would learn how to educate these children without medication they would be better off.  If I had the choice I would take all my children off the meds.  They already blame their behavior on their medications which is so detrimental to a child's mental health.  I always remind them that they still have to learn to control themselves and not count on the medication to always be there. Of course that would mean I would have to be medicated to survive them all!!    Oh, the choices!!!

Wow! What a difference a year can make.  It has been a long time since I have blogged about my crazy life and this last year has been a DOOZY! It will take awhile to fill in all the blanks but keep coming back to check in as the new posts with begin...

http://countdown to africa

I am going private for now because I have been told there is someone in the OFA group who can not separate their lives from the blogs and feels the need to share her opinion on the mental status of the person writing the blog with Jilma amoung other things. I know my sanity is in tact but I am not so sure if this is the case on the adult who acts as a the OFA tattletale! I am sure Jilma sees this but with our adoption this close I am not risking it!!! So I have sent out a few invites and want to invite more but do not have their e-mail adresses. So if anyone wishes to share I would love to invite them!!!! If you feel they might like to read along email me with their names and their email addresses. Thanks!!

Yes, I have been busy! Yes, too busy to blog!! But will give an update on this momma's life :)

I participated in the Run for Congo Women on April 2nd, noticed I said participated and not "ran", Yeah there was no way this momma was running a 5K, not with as many rolls as I have around my waist!! I did however walk and managed to pass a few other walkers, ok so they were even older than me and were walking with their doggies, BUT... I finished. Hooray!! I will admit my 13 yr. old daughter and my niece finished before I did. It was a fun time and a great cause which raised over $5000.00!! I have also been busy with 4-H projects with the kids, they start showing some projects in May although the fair isn't until July. We live in a very rural area and just about every kid in the county is in 4-H with at least one project!! My kid's group has 34 kids in it and 1 leader to cover all ther projects!! I am so glad it is her and not me!

Be sure to check in again for some news on a busy momma's life....

Laundry and lots of it!

Laundry...not a very cool topic but it is what have I been doing all day!! Yes, laundry in this house is more than a chore it is an undertaking of a momma mission! I do anywhere from 22 to 30 loads a week!! NO I am not exaggerating! My wonderful husband is 6'7" tall and weighs in at 285lbs. Now my husband is by no means fat or even heavy he is big boned. Haha yeah that's we we all say but no seriously he is. He wears a size 18 EEE shoe!! His blue jeans alone way 5lbs each dry!!! So needless to say his laundry takes up a lot of room. I do not have a commercial washer or dryer although that would be awesome!! I do however have a set of Maytag Neptunes and they have worked really well for me seeing how I have abused them for many years now. So there are 9 people currently living here, 5 female and 4 males. The younger boys are easy because they would stay in their PJ's from bath to bath if I let them. The girls are another story, can you say multiple outfit changes before school with the clothes they do not decide on ending up in the laundry basket in their room or on the floor. I have countless times thrown a tantrum over this to no avail! Yes, I tend to lose it over this house rule violation since I do all the laundry and it is work! Now take in the amount of towels for bath taking, wash clothes, dish towels, towels for the dog and you get the idea right! We also have 7 beds for 7 kids and a queen for us that need stripped and replaced at least once a week if not more depending on night time accidents, the kids not us heehee! And being winter there are tons of socks and gloves to wash and of course lose at least half of the matching sets which I have a large bucket of onesies waiting to find their match. Plus washing coats, rugs and extra snuggy blankets the kids wear around on the weekends. Yes it is a LOT of laundry!! I am in the process of teaching my 3 older ones how to do laundry but the rules of sorting and measuring seem to go on one ear and out the other. I often wonder if this is a hint that they really don't want to learn so they are not stuck in that little room day in and day out, nah laundry is fun right!!!! Ding, ding....yep time to go the dryer is beconing me with it's musical ring...

Went to pick the kids up at school yesterday and ran into one of the parents who I had purchased a flat of strawberries from as a fundraiser. She informed the berries were just delivered so I drove around the back of the school to the semi and waited for my haul. The kids were so excited to have fresh strawberries so early in the year (there was fresh snow on the ground just 2 days ago) they wunbuckeld thier seat belts and were staring out the windows of the van watching the flats get loaded into pick ups. I was handed my one flat and I returned to the van where many little voices asking, "Can we eat them now? Please mom, Please!!" Of course I had to say, NO!" They haven't been washed yet, wait until we get home" Home we did not directly go and as children often do they changed their attention elsewhere until we hit the driveway and as soon as I set the flat down on the counter they tore into the strawberries with me reminding them to wash them first. 2 pints were inhaled in a matter of minutes with Summer in the lead to down them the fastest. Her 2 most favorite foods are strawberries and tomatoes!! She will sneak into the garden to pick and eat a tomato!! She is the only we have that love's to garden beside her oldest sister who is grown and lives far away. The rest of the group complains about the bugs, the heat and of course the hard work of weeding. They have said many of times that they would rather starve than have to tend a garden. Hmmm...I wonder if that classifies as child abuse if I let them go hungry a day or two just to see if that would stop their complaining?? Nah...They would still complain might as well keep their bellies full so as not to add that to the long list of whining!! heehee! Okay back to the strawberries!! My plan was to make several batches of Jams, freeze a few quarts for winter, cut up fresh for some early shortcakes and a couple of strawberry pies. I started with 12 pints and I used six for Jams, the kids inhaled 2 more, I froze 2 pints and only have 2 left. I"ll have to wait until the kids get home and take a vote on whether to make shortcakes or a pies. It just amazes me how fast an entire flat of strawberries went! Luckily there is an orchard about an hour away that will have strawberries late May early June so I can make some more Jam! :) I guess next year I should double my order!

Okay...I seem to be getting the hang of things with this blogging. Still a beginner but I finally was able to get a background that didn't swallow up my entire page. Yea for me!! So where does one begin when writing a blog???? Do I start slow or jump right in to the madness that is my life?? For the most part my life is fairly boring in the fact that we do not travel much and yes it is because the of the expense of traveling with a large family :) In the beginning with just 2 kids at home we traveled on vacation every year to Florida, Smoky Mountains or just camping somewhere near a lake so my husband could go fishing. We could sleep in a tent or rent a hotel room. We've even taken the family dog along and carried him in wrapped in blankets like a sleeping toddler to stay in our hotel rooms. That was then and this is now...There is no tent big enough to accomidate all 9 of us comfortably and my children are still too scared to sleep in a tent next to ours although we are thinking about doing girl/boy tents with in the next year since the children are getting older and of course my husband and I would be the sleep in chaperones for each tent! But there lies the dilemma of having to rent 2 campsites since campgrounds have a rule of only allowing one tent per site, yep bummer. So we have taken a few short vacations on Spring Break when the kids were younger and we could cram them all into a couple of double beds, then it came the time to get 2 rooms 1 for boys and 1 for girls again my husband and I split camps. Here within the last year we have grown so much that we now require 3 hotel rooms! I mean physically as well as numbers! Both our older girls turned 13 this year and WOW what a change that has been! No way will they will share a room with the younger girls!!! Not to mention adopting another 2 children from Africa! Yipee!! Yes we are growing to a family of 13!!!! So I hope you see why we don't travel much at this time but who knows what the future will bring! Oh did I mention we not only have a dog but 3 cats, 2 guinea pigs and a rabbit? Ya they are kinda hard to travel with :)

In the beginning there was a mom who did not know a thing about blogging. She had so much to say and it wasn't about logging. I know bad poetry but true! So if you are checking this blog out be sure to leave "how to's" and "should have done" or "hey, I haven't fiqured it out yet either!"